ADHD-friendly guide to get organized and overcome overwhelm
Reading time: 10-12 minutes
Today we’ll talk about organization and ADHD. First off – what does it mean to get organized?
Well, according to the Merriam-Webster Dictionary, getting organized means “to arrange one's things or one's affairs so they can be dealt with effectively”.
While getting organized is good for everyone, for people with ADHD getting organized (in a way that works for you), is vital for a thriving life.
The brains of people with ADHD develop differently than the ones of their neurotypical peers (you can find more details about it in my post here: link). Our working memory impairment makes it difficult for us to anticipate, plan, enact, and maintain goal-directed actions[1].
And that’s…kind of important to be able to be able to fully function as an integral part of a society. We are getting by. But we spend much more energy than needed on small tasks, which can lead to overwhelm and burnout.
It’s important to know this so that you can start creating systems and putting routines in place. This will help you use your energy more efficiently, preserving it not just for tasks but for enjoying life too.
So today, we’ll talk about the different types of organizational challenges, how they affect people with ADHD, and explore some supporting strategies. Because understanding your challenges and adapting your organizational strategies can make a significant difference in combating the common pitfalls of ADHD.
Before looking at strategies, let’s first try to understand what causes the issue:
WORKING MEMORY
Working memory is like a table on which we put information for immediate use.
For example, if you're lost on the way to your friend Jim's house and ask for directions, those directions are placed on your working memory table. If you know the way because you have been there before, you will recall the directions from your long-term memory, and place them on this table.
Your working memory table has different sizes at different ages. For neurotypical people, it develops like this:
For people with ADHD, the progression looks different because of the 30% developmental delay[2].
And while neurotypical people can hold up to 5 items in their 20s, ADHD-ers are “stuck” to 2 to 3 items at a time. More if it’s an area of high interest (which is why it’s so important to figure out what is intrinsically interesting for us and pursue it).
This is why we struggle to remember our thoughts while waiting for someone to finish speaking. Especially if they talk a lot.
It’s also why we can’t follow lengthy oral instructions, or why we start too many things at once and forget to finish them.
To improve this, we will talk about three things: clutter, routines, and systems.
CLUTTER
De-cluttering is crucial to reducing overwhelm and freeing up our capacity and energy. The more items we try to remember and the more clutter we see, the faster items shift on our mental table, often disappearing before use.
Let’s look at the different clutter types:
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A well-organized space minimizes distractions and reduces our cognitive load (amount of working memory objects we need to store).
We’re less likely to procrastinate in a well-organized environment. Because the better things are organized and the fewer steps are involved in doing a task, the more likely we are to act on it.
So how do you get organized? Use the principle of "a place for everything, and everything in its place". And that place should ideally be the place of performance, the place where the task is performed.
For example, keeping pet food next to the feeding bowls. Or the coffee filters and coffee next to the coffee machine. Or the notebook on your desk.
Grouping items of the same kind and keeping them in a labeled container is a game changer. If it’s a box that’s easily accessible and does not need a lid, that’s even better: fewer steps to get to what you need. I even know ADHD-ers who removed the doors from their kitchen cupboards so that they could see and access their items easily.
Remember, it’s not about where stuff “should be” placed, it’s about what works best for you.
So just go around your house and ask yourself: are my things close to where I usually use them? How can I reduce the steps needed to find what I need?
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Consider the 2-minute rule for your unread emails: if an action takes less than 2 minutes, do it immediately (like unsubscribing from a frequently ignored newsletter). And if you have hundreds of unread e-mails, mark them as read and start fresh.
I personally read every e-mail as soon as I see it and either respond immediately when it’s quick (and then move it to a “solved” folder so it’s not cluttering my inbox) or leave it in my inbox and block a slot for responding.
Automate everything you can – rules to forward e-mails you don’t need to act on, rules to forward alerts so you don’t need to do so manually etc.
And what about the apps on your phone - do you really use all of them? And are your calendars synchronized, or do you need to look in 2-3 calendars to check your availability? How could you optimize this?
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Time management can be challenging for those with ADHD. Time blindness—an inability to accurately gauge the passing of time, can lead to unrealistic scheduling. Which can snowball into chronic lateness and missed deadlines.
What I invite you to do, is plan your week. Block the time you are at work, the time you need to commute, to cook, to eat, to go to the gym, to be at the gym, to brush your teeth.
Yes, micro-manage your agenda. Because if we don’t have routines and blockers in the calendar, we forget.
Especially when it comes to self-care. So don’t forget to plan some time to mentally, physically, and emotionally transition from one task to another. Plan 5 minutes between your calls and meetings. Give yourself time to recharge after a cognitively, emotionally, and socially intense activity.
Add blockers to “do nothing” in your calendar. Because you sometimes need that. And if you don’t take it, you won’t show up as your best self for the next task - be it an interview, a date, or a walk in the park with a friend. And if you keep pushing through long enough without rest, your body might, at some point, force you to take a break by getting you sick.
I know time blocking sounds like a big hurdle, very complicated. But you don't need to keep doing this weekly forever. You will learn and get better at it over time. Start with next week’s plan. You’ll probably forget to put some things in the first week, but that’s ok. It’s a process - adjust as needed. After a while, it’ll become easier and you will only need to do this maybe once a year, or after a move, a job change and after coming back from a holiday. Because you know how difficult it is to remember and restart your routines after your holidays, right?
I also talk about time management strategies in this blog post: link. If you haven’t read it, please do.
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All your senses can be overwhelmed by clutter. Light, sound, taste, touch, and smell…
I get overwhelmed when I want to sleep and the sink is dripping, the clock is ticking, the cat is meowing, and my partner is snoring. By itself, the clock ticking is fine. By itself, the sink dripping is ok. But small things that we can individually tolerate add up and, at some point, they might be too much.
So…what are the things that you can fix that will make sensory overload less likely to happen? Do you need to change the lights? Or tidy up, so you remove some of the visual clutter? Do you need to fix the sink or get a quieter clock? Do you need to get rid of some scented candles? Remove the labels from your clothes?
I, for example, need to have everything nice and tidy in the house, otherwise I get constantly distracted and overwhelmed. Visual clutter is kryptonite for me. That’s why every time I moved homes, I had to have the boxes unpacked within a day. Because I know how much not finding my things will impact my daily schedule. And I refuse to plan in 30 minutes to find my shoes before work. And I know that every time I open a box to find my shoes, I might see something that reminds me of something else, and then forget what I was looking for in that box.
What is your kryptonite? And which senses can you give a rest to?
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Externalize your working memory as much as possible . Keep a notebook with you and write down the things you want to remember. To do’s, buying milk, sending a message to your friend on their birthday. Write it down. Once they’re on paper, you don’t need to keep them in your mind.
If you count on remembering those things later, you might be disappointed. You might remember to buy milk only after you went grocery shopping. And text your friend 3 days after their birthday (if you text them at all, because the shame of having forgotten AGAIN might be so big, you might decide to postpone dealing with it…indeterminately).
If you need a notebook in every room and every purse, get it: you won’t go to a different room to write down what you remembered. Or use an app if you always have your phone with you. Text or dictate into your phone. Try different options and see what works best for you.
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Before we start, I have a short disclaimer: this might be a sensitive topic for some of you. Because thinking of decluttering your social circle might come with feelings of shame, guilt or fear. If this is the case, that it’s ok. You don’t need to do anything now, or ever. Especially not before you feel ready. And if you do want to look at this but don’t know how to: it’s ok. Ask for help if you need it. And know that prioritizing yourself, your needs and wishes is not selfish. It’s healthy.
To continue…
Yes, there is social clutter. Have you looked at your social network lately? Are your relationships worth all the energy you invest in them? Do you have friendships you spend energy maintaining just because of inertia, although you’re not really getting anything from them anymore?
Someone told me recently that they categorize people as Drains and Heaters.
Drains are those relationships where you invest a lot of energy without getting anything in return. Those relationships that kind of hold you back, and drain your energy. It could be the people who cross your boundaries, who don’t have the same values as you, who maybe make you feel like “you’re not enough”, or who don’t celebrate your wins (or even worse, they’re bothered by your growth and want to hold you back).
Heaters are those people who energize you. Who share your values, your goals, and who inspire you and help you grow just by being part of your life.
And no, we can’t remove all Drains from our lives, as much as we might want to. But ideally, the time and energy spent with them would be much less than the time and energy spent with your Heaters.
Healthy social connections alone can make a HUGE difference in your overall wellbeing and growth!
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It was not long ago when I realized that I was pursuing some goals just because I had never stopped to ask myself if those goals were still worth pursuing for me.
When life is on fast-forward and we don’t pause to question what we’re doing, we might fall into a trap: the trap of pursuing unclear or even conflicting goals. And this takes up energy.
Find your WHY: why are you doing the things you are doing now? Are you doing them for you, or someone else? Are the things you’re doing aligned with your values? Are all the things you’re doing worth the amount of energy you invest in them?
ROUTINES
I get why the word “routine” might make you twitch. We hate routines. Because they make us feel restrained. Routines mean we can’t be spontaneous and chase new, exciting things. We crave novelty. And routine is not really…novel.
But routines help us. They reduce decision-making. They reduce distractibility. And they don’t need to keep you from what you want to do. Just plan slots in your routine for spontaneity.
The theory is simple: if we do something often enough, it will take us less effort over time. Because we won’t have to remember how to do it every time. After a while, we will find the easiest way for us to do it, and it will become automatic.
Like driving to work: the first time it’s more complicated because you don’t know the way and how long it takes. But after a while, you just seem to get there. You don’t need to consciously decide every time which way to take to get there. You just leave your mind wandering, and your body takes you there somehow.
So start looking at your routines and try to remember: how did you make the routines you have now stick? What routines did you try before? What worked? What did not work?
And if you can’t figure out how to create new routines, work with a coach to support you. Your brain will thank you.
SYSTEMS
Systems are also crucial to reducing decision-making. And you probably have a few systems in place already.
I, for example, always keep my keys in the same place. I put them there when I get home, and I don’t need to think about where to look for them before I leave.
And every time I do my groceries, I write the recipes I shopped for on a post-it in the kitchen. This way, I know what meals I have ingredients for and don’t need to remember or decide on the spot what I could cook.
So what are you struggling to find now? What overwhelms you? What do you feel you spend too much energy on? Look at those areas and see what you can declutter or automate, and what systems you can put in place to support yourself. Doing so will prevent you from being overwhelmed by mid-day because of all the small decisions and all the things you keep trying to remember.
Struggling to manage on your own? Working with a coach might just shift you from constantly overwhelmed to thriving.
[1] Kofler MJ, Sarver DE, Harmon SL, Moltisanti A, Aduen PA, Soto EF, Ferretti N. Working memory and organizational skills problems in ADHD. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/28714075/
[2] Shaw, P., Eckstrand, K., Sharp, W., Blumenthal, J. D., Lerch, J. P., Greenstein, D., … & Rapoport, J. L. (2007). Attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder is characterized by a delay in cortical maturation. https://doi.org/10.1073/pnas.0707741104